Senin, 16 Juni 2008

8 Questions Brides Ask About Setting up a Wedding Registry

In theory, setting up a registry is simple. You decide on one or several stores, create a registry online or in person, select various items, and get the word out to your guests. In practice, things are a little more complicated -- but only a little!

With that said, here's the real deal on setting up your wedding registry and getting the word out without offending your guests. Remember that retailers can be an enormous help to both you and your guests. At the same time, you can't take everything they say at face value.

Q: Where should I register?

A: Chances are, if you're getting married in your own town, you already know where "everyone goes" to set up and shop from a registry. If not, and guests are flying in from far away, pick from some bride-tested standbys likely to be present almost anywhere. Macy's has a great reputation for registries, as does Williams-Sonoma, Bed Bath & Beyond and other retailers.

Before you choose your stores, be sure to stop by a wedding forum and get feedback from brides who have been there, done that. Store policies vary quite dramatically, ranging from the easy-does-it (who'll give you cash back for returns off the registry, no questions asked) to the extremely restrictive (who'll only let you exchange for another item *in that department*, requires a receipt for each item, and so on). You'll want to know about these policies and the store's overall reputation for bridal friendliness before you go in, or returns and exchanges could become a big hassle.

Q: I have a wide range of interests. How many stores should I register at?

A: Two to three stores is fairly typical. They don't have to be typical stores, though. If you're a wine drinker, and live in a state where it's legal to ship wine, set up a registry at one of the great online wine merchants.

Q: When should I register?

A: Although close family members may pressure you to start earlier, it's helpful to wait three to six months before the wedding. Not only are the vast majority of gifts bought within a day or so of the shower or ceremony itself, stores turn over merchandise so rapidly that any gifts you select earlier may be discontinued.

Q: What if I already have all the kitchen appliances and throw pillows I need?

A: Consider putting together a honeymoon registry instead, so guests can contribute toward a special meal or snorkeling trip or a night's lodging during your honeymoon.

Q: When I signed up at Store X, they gave me a bunch of attractive registry cards to enclose with my wedding invitations. Should I do it, or is that tacky?

A: Sorry, but the consensus is almost universal -- it's uncouth to include any mention of gifts in your invitations. You can, however, tuck those cards into shower invitations. Perhaps the best solution is to include a note in your invitations that reads, "Please see our wedding web site at www.xyz.com" and place your registry information there.

Q: How many gifts should I register for? I don't want to look demanding. A: Typically, you'll want to select two or three items per guest. That gives people room to choose instead of locking them into something they don't enjoy buying, or worse, forcing them to guess what else you might like, giving birth to the "second yogurt maker" type of gift.

If you have many guests, you can avoid creating a 16-page monstrosity for them to print out by breaking up your registry over several stores.

At the end of the day, "more is more." Many retailers offer discounts on those items you registered for but didn't receive. Many stores also retain your registry for at least 12 months after the wedding. You may find it's best to register for everything that you plan to buy, even if you don't expect to get it as a gift; you can then purchase your selections for 10% or 20% off after the ceremony. Many brides also find friends and family tapping registries for gift buying ideas for birthdays and other holidays!

Q: What price range should I stick with when selecting items?

A: Generally, you should register for things you really feel you want or need, without worrying too much about the price. Some guests enjoy picking up a number of items in the low price range, and sometimes guests will group together to purchase bigger-ticket items.

Q: I've set up my registry just fine, but now I'm addicted to checking it online. How can I stop?

A: Sorry, there's no known antidote for registry-checking addiction, though it's a widespread phenomenon. Counting to ten, taking deep breaths or distracting yourself with double-fudge ice cream might be worth a shot.

By Blake Kritzberg


Choosing a Wedding Date -- When You're Feeling Indecisive

He - or she - asked, and you answered in the affirmative! Now's the time to bask in the romance, and enjoy the first phase of your new life together. But soon, you'll need a response for that timeless question: "when's the wedding?"

For some couples, it's easy - they know just when they want to tie the knot. For others, it's less clear. After all, you have a lot of options. Even more than you might think, since it's really not necessary to get married on a Saturday. Friday and Sunday afternoons are good choices too, and less expensive.

So if you're looking at the calendar ahead and seeing a hundred alternatives, all about equally attractive, here's how to narrow them down.

Must-have venues

No matter how flexible you are, there's bound to be things you won't compromise on. Maybe it's a particular church, temple and officiant for your ceremony. Maybe it's a special venue for your reception. And there are certain indispensable guests, like your parents.

Luckily for you, putting just these three things together is bound to reduce your choices. Once you call on the church/temple, ceremony venue or reception hall, you'll probably find many dates already filled, especially if you call less than nine months in advance. Good. That makes things easier!

Must-have ambiance

But maybe you don't have a must-have venue. Maybe you just have an image in your mind of the perfect wedding. Maybe it involves falling snow, ermine mantles, a horse-drawn carriage, and a crackling fireplace. Maybe it involves stacks of shiny apples, heaped pumpkins, a scattering of leaves and the scent of cranberry-apple cider. Or delicate pastels, gossamer pashminas for the bridesmaids, and a dove release. In this case your time of year is set: all that's needed it to work out the logistics of venue, local climate and the availability of your most important guests.

Must-have flowers

Some people know exactly what floral arrangements they want at their wedding. Flowers are such an enormous part of the wedding budget, if particular ones are important to you, you might want to arrange your date around them. Unless you're an heiress, for example, you'll want to avoid buying roses for your Valentine's Day wedding. On the other hand, December and January are great months to buy calla lilies. To study flower availability charts, Google for "flower availability by month."

Must-have honeymoons

If you have your heart set on a certain destination, you'll probably find the honeymoon helps set the date for you. Chances are, some dates are good for travel but others involve the risk of hurricanes or lengthy rains.

Limited budget

For now, winter is the slow wedding season. So it's often (though not always) true that you can get a break on expenses by having your ceremony during the holidays. Brides often find that by marrying near Christmas, they benefit from already-decorated churches and don't need to add much themselves. Plus, if they shop the year before, they can stock up on decorations at incredibly discounted post-holiday sales. The trick is to avoid competing with office parties for reception venues and limousines (New Year's Eve is particularly competitive).

Another factor to consider, besides the possibility of dismal weather, is how many guests are due from out-of-town. Flying in for a holiday wedding can strain any family's Christmas budget, plus airlines often charge extra during the season.

If you need to keep expenses in check but want to avoid winter, make sure you steer clear of proms, graduation, "parents' day" at colleges, major sporting events and other local events.

"Life" dates

You might find your own life gives more guidance than you think. Are you a teacher, with set vacation times? Are you graduating from college or ending an internship? Are many of your relations students, available only during the holidays or the summer? If you're working, is your vacation time limited to a certain time of year? If many guests are flying in, will Labor Day weekend or Memorial Day weekend give them time to get acclimated and enjoy your big day? If none of these apply, is there a date that has special significance to you as a couple, such as the date you first met or first dated?

"Auspicious" dates

Many people find little extra jolt of comfort in picking auspicious days for their wedding. In India and China, this is standard practice. But even in the West, people often find it reassuring to pick numbers or dates with personal meaning. A Chinese custom is to select a date with as many even numbers as possible (such as 2-18-2006). The Irish believed that New Year's Eve is luckiest for weddings. The Romans (and consequently, modern westerners) favored the month of June. For Victorians, it was lucky to marry on the groom's birthday.

By Blake Kritzberg


Wedding Planning: Involve your Fiancé in 10 Easy Steps

He's popped the question. You've chosen a date. And now, you're swimming in a sea of euphoria with no horizons. Good thing, too, because there are literally a thousand things to arrange before the big day.

You do the research, buckle under and dive in. But you find your fiancé's ardor for the event itself seems to have cooled. It's not that he isn't mad about marrying you; after all, he is a great guy, even if he can't tell a Vera Wang from a Gunny Sack. It's that his preparation style is hands-off, to say the least. And planning a wedding isn't a job built for one.

So what to do? Here are ten ways to involve him without increasing both of your stress loads:

1) Delegate areas that have a prayer of interesting him.

The worst thing you can do is expect him to match your ten to twenty years of feminine wisdom on the relative merits of buttercream vs. fondant.

Here are some probable no areas when roping in a reluctant wedding planner:

- Selecting the cake frosting
- Choosing the favors or favor packaging
- Selecting the wedding colors or floral arrangements

Then there are the potential maybes, fraught with fewer hazards:

- Choosing the photographer
- Choosing the videographer
- Arranging the rehearsal dinner
- Arranging the all-inclusive honeymoon
- Renting big, tricky items like outdoor tents

These are probable yeses, well worth running by your guy:

- Selecting the DJ or the band
- Setting up and maintaining your wedding website
- Researching and selecting charities, if you choose to donate instead of giving out favors
- Setting up the carriage, limo or other transportation arrangements

2) If you ask him to help you choose vendors and styles, narrow down the choices first.

It's a jungle of options out there, enough to give the most natural-born party planner pause. So if you want his opinion on photographers, invites, flowers or cakes, narrow down the options to three or four. He's less likely to feel overwhelmed, and more likely to feel like an important part of the process.

At times, it'll feel so good to share the load that you'll be tempted to drag him into the buttercream debate despite your better instincts. At these times, take a deep breath, count to ten, and call your mother or your maid of honor.

3) Ask him directly for help.

Let him know how important his input is to you, and that you can't do it without him.

Guys like to be needed. Your frank request for help may be enough to pull him out of his comfort zone and onto your team.

4) Try the Art Director/Production Staff approach.

If you think your guy wants to help, but feels uncomfortable playing "art director," give him "production staff" tasks. Have him make the payments, pick up the food or decor, handle the rentals, do online comparison shopping, or reserve the hotels and reception halls. These are all jobs that will take a load off your shoulders, while freeing up time for the aesthetic stuff you probably enjoy and he doesn't.

5) Get a calendar and put all the planning in black and white.

Your fiancé probably doesn't have the first clue in what goes into a wedding.

Get your wedding planner, write it all down, and show him. Once he gets over the shock, you'll both probably be able to identify areas that interest him. Make lists of the things you've each agreed to do, and cross them off as they get done. At the very least, he'll be far more supportive when he sees what you're going through.

6) Weave his family heritage/ethnicity/traditions into the ceremony.

What did his parents do? He might be surprised at the question, but it could lead somewhere valuable. He might ask his parents about their wedding, and find your wedding consequently enriched. Look through their wedding album together. Are his ancestors German, Polish, Italian, Croatian, Asian? Incorporate some old-world traditions into your ceremony.

7) Don't bring him in too early.

Treat your fiance as a bit of a pinch hitter. Sure, you may be fully aware that you can shave 5K off your costs by starting your favor crafts and reservations 18 months ahead of time. But if he's like most guys, the wedding won't become real to him until it draws closer. Expect him to jump in about six months before the actual ceremony, and break into a (relative) frenzy of activity about one month in advance.

8) Talk about something besides the wedding.

Guys aren't the only ones who complain about brides-to-be talking of nothing but upcoming nuptials. Sometimes, even girlfriends get overwhelmed by all the wedding chatter.

Spend some time alone chatting about anything but the wedding. See a silly movie, split a hot fudge sundae, or watch a basketball game. Do something spontaneous that reminds you both of why you decided to marry in the first place.

9) Check your subtext for hidden meanings.

Tempting as it might be, make sure you're not using your fiance as a coin-toss tool (ever noticed how people flip coins to find out what they really want?). When you ask for his opinion, take it seriously. And when you give him ownership of a task, don't second-guess every step.

Imagine that your fiancé has told you he's going to draft a dream team in his fantasy football league, and it's going to cost him $20K to participate. Now imagine that he's told you your help is supremely important to him.

You'd be a little hesitant to give opinions, right? Some of your ideas might sound feeble, even to your own ears. Hopefully he'd welcome your thoughts, however odd it felt for you to venture them. Now imagine your fiancé feels kind of like that when it comes to the wedding.

10) Remember that men become wedding experts by having one.

Chances are, your sweetheart will open his eyes to the wonder of a wedding by the time the rose petals are tossed. Forever after, he'll be examining friend's receptions with a practiced eye, and anticipating the next excuse for a Really Big Shindig.

So keep him around, and count on throwing a first-rate anniversary celebration ten years down the road. In a way, that'll be the party that really matters, won't it?

By Blake Kritzberg


Current Trends in Wedding Photography

Wedding photography is an evolving field that requires artistic talent, vision, and highly technical expertise.

In the past wedding photography was almost always limited to stiff posses without much regard for the underlying story, emotion, romance, and behind the scene events of the wedding day.

Although there is still a big segment of the wedding industry that practices traditional photography with its preplanned poses, and recreation of the wedding peak events such as the kiss, the ring exchange, etc., the modern wedding couple demands a more contemporary approach to their wedding day.

Wedding photojournalism has been in vogue for the past decade. The central idea behind it has been the capture of the wedding events without any interference or direction from the wedding photographer. The photographer is there to capture the true essence of the wedding day. As a result of this realistic approach the photographs are a true representation of the wedding day. Hard core wedding journalistic will be totally opposed to posing any wedding related event. If it doesn't not happen during the wedding it won't be recorded. This includes family group photos.

Several photographers offer a hybrid approach to wedding photography, usually a combination of traditional and journalistic wedding photography. In this approach the photographer focuses on documenting the wedding day but the coverage also includes a session with the couple for formal posed or semi-posed photographs and also family group photos.

The latest trend in wedding photography is toward a more fashionable approach. Inspired on high-end fashion magazines such as Vogue, Elle, InStyle, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, GQ, American Photo, etc., and wedding magazines the photographer seeks to make the couple's fantasies real. In the fashion wedding photography approach the goal is to make the wedding couple look their best. Their romantic interplay is glamorized to its maximum expression. The everyday couple becomes like wedding celebrities. Attention to detail is required to achieve the perfect look. This approach requires a great deal of artistic talent behind the camera and also great computer image editing skill to produce a unique photo. Half the photo is made on the camera with the second half achieved though digital image editing and manipulation.

Which style is best, is for you to decide. In our experience a big segment of the wedding couples want to capture the reality, details and romance of the wedding day but at the same time they have fantasies about their wedding and the way they should look.

When making a decision for a wedding photographer look closely to the photographer's portfolio and see how it agrees with your philosophy on how your wedding day should be photographed. Regardless of your philosophy please make sure that you select a master of the craft, you and the next generation deserve masterpiece memories of your wedding day.

By Juan Carlos Torres


How to Find The Perfect Wedding Dress

You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made it a major focus of your pre wedding planning. There are some things you need to find from the bridal shop, before you even look at your first gown. Do you need to make an appointment to visit the shop? Does the store carry dresses you can afford Can you browse the whole collection, or do you only get to see the dresses the sales person chooses for you? If this shop doesn't carry the dress you love, can it be ordered?
Once these questions have been answered and you find a dress or two that you like, there are still more questions you need to ask. Can a particular dress be ordered with different sleeves, or neckline? What alterations can be done and what will that cost? Can you get a written estimate on the alterations? If we order the bridesmaids dresses here, can we get a discount or free alterations? Do you have headpieces and or veils that will go with my dress? How much is the deposit and when is the balance due? What are the cancellation and refund policies? Can we get a Rush on this dress if necessary? These are the most important questions to ask, but you will probably have some of your own. Beware of any shop that won't give you straight answers or written estimates. When you think you have found just the right dress, ask if they can hold it for a day or two, then go home wait at least 34 hours and go back for another look. If you still love it, then go right ahead and buy it.
On the other hand, if your mother, maid of honor, sales clerk or friend thinks a dress is perfect and you are not sure, use the same strategy. Wait a day; go back for a second look before you reject it. If a dress just doesn't feel right or you just don't like it do not yield to pressure from the store staff, friends or even Mom. It is your dress, your day, you decide.
After you have chosen your wedding dress, the clerk or the shop's seamstress will take measurements of your bust, waist and hips, and determine if the dress needs to be taken up. Just about every wedding dress needs some alterations. You will also need to go in for fittings, usually at least three times. Make sure, if your alterations are not free, that you get a written estimate. Find out if you will be able to "borrow" your dress for a portrait sitting, and return it for pressing afterwards. Pay with a credit card so that if anything goes wrong, you can dispute the payment.
You have another big decision to make. What about your headpiece and veil? The sales staff should be able to assist you in choosing a headpiece that goes with your dress. Veils come in several lengths and styles, and again the staff can help you decide which is best for you.
The veil you choose for your wedding depends on the dress you have chosen. If you are wearing a street length casual style dress you wouldn't choose a cathedral or chapel veil, both of which trail the floor. By the same token you wouldn't wear a flyaway veil, which barely brushes the shoulders, with a formal dress with a train.
Don't forget you need to get the right lingerie, shoes and jewelry, to go with your beautiful wedding dress.
Before we leave the bridal salon, there is one more detail to attend to, your bridesmaids dresses. When choosing these dresses, you need to take into consideration the ages, complexions, and body types of your attendants. Fortunately today's bridesmaid's gowns are no longer the cookie cutter dresses all in the same color, that nobody would ever wear again.
Some options for bridesmaid's dresses are to choose a color and fabric suitable for all of the women and let each of them pick a style that she is comfortable with. Or you can choose a simple a-line or empire waist dress that flatters all figures, and let the girls choose the from a color family, say purple, the options could be lilac, lavender, plum, mauve and orchid. If you do choose to have all attendants wear the same dress, they can personalize the look with small beaded purses, scarves, jewelry or shawls.
Also, be aware that the colors and your bridesmaid's wear have to complement The color scheme of your reception, you don't want a red plan for your reception in red if your maids are wearing green, unless you are going for a Christmas look.
The wedding is over, now you have to decide what to do with that beautiful, expensive dress. You can put it on a hangar in the back of your closet, where any stains will set and be very difficult to remove at a later time. You need to ask your bridal shop or wedding consultant in advance for the name of a gown preservationist. Many dry cleaners claim to clean wedding gowns, but most are not experts in preservation.
There are two cleaning methods used by preservationists. Some use the wet cleaning method, this entails washing the dress by hand with a mild cleanser, that removes visible and invisible stains (champagne and sugar) Other companies use the dry cleaning method, where stains are pre-treated and then put in a dry cleaning machine. Once the dress is cleaned, it is wrapped in white acid free tissue paper or unbleached muslin. Ordinary tissue paper has acids that can stain and eventually eat holes in your dress. Then the wrapped dress is in is placed in an acid free or paperboard box. Sometimes the box has a viewing window of acetate. Store the box in out of direct light to keep the dress from becoming yellow.
Having your gown cleaned and packaged by a reputable preservationist can cost between $200- $400 depending on where you live. Before sending your dress off to be done, ask if the work is done on site. Also find out if you have to sign a disclaimer and sometimes say that the company is not responsible for damage done during the preservation processes, You should seek out a preservationist who will guarantee her or his work.
To help preserve your dress never wrap it in plastic, don't hang it on an ordinary wood or wire hangar, because the dress could stretch and distort from its own weight. Don't try to clean stains, this could cause them to set.
If you are all tapped out after the wedding you can do things to prolong the life of the dress. Wrap the dress in unbleached muslin, or a white sheet, and store in a sturdy box under your bed. Then as soon as you possibly can take the gown to a professional preservationist. Some day your daughter may want to wear it on her wedding day.


Wedding Dresses - Why They Are White and Other Wedding Lore

Brides have always worn white, right? Not so. In ancient times brides wore bright colored wedding dresses to signify their joy. White for western brides didn't become fashionable until Queen Victoria wore it at her wedding to signify her status. White dresses never did signify purity until the Christian churches put that label on them. So feel free to add a little color to your wedding outfit.

Wedding bands made of hemp or braided grass were the earliest rings. They eventually fell out of favor, replaced by durable metals until about the 15th century when diamonds came upon the scene, to signify a valuable strong commitment, a tradition which most modern couples choose to keep.

When grooms would "capture" their brides and or were afraid of evil spirits they would comer the woman's head to keep her from being recognized.

Bridesmaids' dresses are all identical. Where did this practice originate? Long ago the brides friends wore the same exact outfit as the bride to confuse the evil spirits who wanted to destroy her happiness;. It also helped to prevent the bride from being kidnapped by a rival suitor.

The receiving line developed from the ancient belief, that on their wedding day, the bride and groom brought good luck to everyone they touched. Modern couples often pass on this and prefer to "make the rounds" greeting their guests during the wedding dinner.

In ancient Rome a marriage was not legal until the couple kissed. The kiss was considered a legal bond necessary to seal all contracts. This is thought to be the origin of the present day custom of banging a spoon against a glass until the newlyweds kiss.

Will you have your dad walk you down the aisle? Do you know where this custom originated? Long ago, a woman was considered her father's property until she married, and their she was her husband's property. At the wedding the Dad would literally "give her away," transferring ownership to the husband. Now brides often have their fathers or both parents accompany them, and have the officiant ask "Who supports this couple in marriage?" The parents answer "We do."

There is no need to explain what the honeymoon is. But do you know where the term originated? In ancient Ireland, when a couple married, the parents would make sure they had a supply of a drink made from fermented honey called mead, that would last for a full cycle of the moon. It was believed they would be blessed with a son within a year.

Back when a bride could be forced by a captor to marry, the groom would have to carry her against her will into her new home. The Romans thought that it was bad luck, for a bride to trip over the threshold so to prevent that, the groom carried her.

During the Middle Ages the length of a bride's train indicated her rank in court. The longer her train the closer she was to the King and Queen and the greater her influence with them.

During the 18th and 19th centuries gloves were the traditional wedding favor for guests.

Here are a few more unusual traditions from around the world. The Greek bride tucks a sugar cube in her glove to "sweeten the union." According to Hindu beliefs rain on your wedding day is good luck.; Some western cultures believe rain is unlucky.

In Holland it is traditional to plant a tree outside the newlyweds home as a symbol of fertility. Finnish brides traditionally carried a pillowcase door to door, collecting gifts. An older married man went with her, symbolizing a long marriage.

Korean brides wear red and yellow outfits for their weddings. Danish brides and grooms used to confound the evil spirits by cross-dressing. Egyptian parents traditionally do all the cooking for a week, so that the couple can relax.

In many cultures including Hindu, Egyptian and Celtic, the hand of a bride and groom are tied together as a symbol of their new bond and commitment to the marriage. This is the origin of the expression "Tying then knot".

In Roman mythology the god Juno rules over childbirth, marriage and the hearth. This is believed to be the reason for the popularity of June weddings.

African-American weddings often hold to the tradition of "jumping the broom". Slaves in the United States were not allowed to marry, so they would exhibit their love by jumping over a broom to the beat of drums. It now is symbol of the couple's intention to set up a home together.

Japanese couples become man and wife when they take the first of nine sips of sake. In Irish tradition once the bride and groom were in the church, the guests would lock the doors to make sure the groom couldn't back out. It was also important that a male not a female be the first to wish joy to the newly married bride.

There is an old English rhyme that brides have been obeying for years. "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue." The actual rhyme also included this line "and a sixpence in your shoe". Relatives usually offer the something old, like great grandmother's antique cameo, or your mom's gown. These items provide continuity from generation to generation.

The "new" symbolizes home for the future and can include your gown or veil , a strand of pearls, bouquet of silk flowers, or a new coin to tuck in your shoe. The choices here are endless.

Borrowed happiness is symbolized by the something borrowed. It should be something that brought happiness to the owner. Some possibilities are your mother in law's ruby brooch, your dad's silk handkerchief, or your parents' wedding song.

The blue something symbolizes fidelity, love and good fortune. Often, there is a blue ribbon on the garter. Other ideas are blue flowers, delphiniums, or irises in your bouquet, sapphire earrings and necklace, or even your lingerie.

You may want to consider incorporating some of these ideas into your wedding plans. There are books and magazines that you can search for traditions from your own ethnic or religious traditions. Perhaps you like something you've heard about from another culture that you can adapt for your wedding. If you will have children at your reception you might want to borrow the Puerto Rican idea of pinatas, even the adults might enjoy that one.



Martin Smith


Signature Frames - Your Guestbook and Wedding Frame Together At Last!

So you have been invited to a wedding. Whether you are a friend, family member or the proud parents, one of the most important, if not stressful decisions is what to buy the new couple. This new union will require a unique gift, a gift the newlyweds can actually use and enjoy. Is there such a gift that can provide these qualities while still being original?

Well there is, and just when you thought all of the best wedding gifts and ideas have been taken. Here is a gift that will create a memorable presentation at the reception by including everyone at the wedding while simultaneously providing the newlyweds with a lifetime wedding display to remember their special day.

It is called a signature frame, and if you're not familiar with this gift, it is a picture frame that can display photos of the newlyweds surrounded by signatures of their guests. It is a modern combination of a wedding frame and guestbook, it is the best of both and much more.

Most brides will buy a traditional wedding photo package and use the traditional guestbook, but how often do couples really revisit their photo albums and what happens to that guestbook after the wedding? That's the great benefit of a signature frame because it will actually display those precious memories so they can be celebrated every day. In other words, the newlyweds can have their cake and eat it too.

The other great benefit of a signature frame is that it can be part of a rehearsal dinner and/or wedding reception. Not only can it be signed by everyone in attendance but a fun idea is to fill the frame with pictures of the newlyweds when they were kids, dating, or during their engagement. That way, when guests autograph the signature mat, they can also view these fun pictures and be included in the couple's past history and memories.. The signed frame, complimented with the fun pictures, can then be presented to the new couple at the end of the reception as a gift from everyone. The newlyweds can later add their wedding and/or honeymoon photographs when they are ordered in the future.

This special gift can give newlyweds a permanent framed display allowing them to re-live and celebrate their wedding day, everyday. This gift will truly become their first family heirloom.

By Shar Calder


Do You Hear Wedding Bells?

So you've been in that perfect relationship for some time now. You've been dropping hints about the future and he is receiving you loud and clear. It's time to do a little "window shopping." After all, you don't want to leave one of the most important decisions in your life entirely up to him, do you? He WILL lose sleep over finding that perfect engagement ring, even though he will not admit it. So why not help him out a little, give him some guidance and direction.

There are so many choices when it comes to shopping for engagement rings and you and he will hear a lot of advice from a lot of "helpful" people. His "Uncle Charlie" will know a guy who knows a guy. Your sister will tell you that you have to get your ring where she got hers. Your co-worker will tell you about this really cool website. And on and on, there will be advice around every corner.

Let's go through some of the available options and identify the pros and cons of each. This should help you both figure out what the best option is for you.

Your Local Jewelry Store: Definintely a great place to start. A jewelry store will have a small selection of pre-set engagement rings for you to see in person, and try on. If you run into a helpful sales associate that is willing to spend some time with you and explain all of the nuances of buying diamonds, it will be well worth your time.

PROS Seeing the diamond in person. Nothing beats the feeling of seeing diamonds sparkle on your finger!

Talking to a knowlegable human being and getting answers to questions face to face.

CONS Limited selection. Most local jewelry stores do not have the financial resources to carry a large inventory of diamonds. However, many stores do work with suppliers who are able to send them goods on memorandum (like consignment) if they have a customer who is looking for a particular diamond.

Price. You will pay more at a jeweler, period. Sure you can try and negotiate and feel like you got a better price, but a jeweler will not sell you that diamond for less than a substantial profit. Most jewelers need to make a "keystone" markup on every item, which is double what they paid for that diamond. This markup covers the high overhead costs of running a store including insurance, rent and sales commissions.

Antique Shops: If you are looking for a ring that is truly unique, this is the place for you. You'll need to do some leg work and visit many different stores to see what's available, but it could be worth it in the long run.

PROS Most likely to find a one of a kind ring. If you have the need to be an original, stick to your search and you will find that proverbial "diamond in the rough."

CONS Unless you get lucky, expect a long search. You may only find a handful, if any rings in the shops you visit.

Most rings will not have any type of certification or appraisal. Unless you know a great deal about diamond grading, it is possible to get taken advatage of very easily.

The Internet The Holy Grail and the Bottomless Pit of information, all wrapped in one. By far, you will find the largest selection of diamonds and engagement rings here, but that can be quite overwhelming. Start with the basics and work your way through this checklist.

1. Shape - Diamonds are cut into 10 most common shapes, but there are countless other "designer" shapes popping up in the industry on a regular basis. Most of the shapes are self explanatory (round, oval, pear, heart), but do you know what a Marquise or a Radiant looks like? Take a look at the most commonly available diamond shapes and decide what you like best.

2. Size - Bigger is better, right? Not necessarily. Unless your fiance has very deep pockets, you will not be getting a 5 carat boulder to weigh you down. Too many men are convinced that it has to be big. Would you like to have a big ugly rock that is dull and lifeless on your hand, just so you could tell everyone it's 3 carats, or would you rather have a beautiful, sparkling beacon of light catching all of your friends attention. You won't have to wave your hand in front of them to notice, they will come to you!

3. The 4 C's - The most common phrase in the diamond business and the most important when shopping for a diamond online. The 4 C's represent a diamond's cut, color, clarity and carat weight. CUT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF A DIAMOND'S FIRE AND BRILLIANCE. So many people buying diamonds focus on color and clarity, that cut is often overlooked. You can spend a fortune buying a flawless clarity and perfect color (white) diamond, yet if it is poorly cut, it will be dull and lifeless.

4. The Mouting Metal - This is basically a matter of personal preference and what looks best on you. Yellow gold is classic and works best for a solitaire engagement ring. Yellow gold is also better for mounting diamonds with a lower color grade (yellowish tint), because the yellow from the diamond blends into the setting. White gold and Platinum give a modern look and work best with three stone rings. Be sure to choose a diamond with a high color grade, otherwise the white moutning will negatively emphasise a yellowish diamond.

5. The Online Engagement Ring Builder - The most fun part of buying a diamond online is being able to build your own ring. Choose a diamond and a setting, then email it to your fiance. Even if he doesn't buy it online, he will know exactly what style to look for when he goes shopping. No surprises, and everyone is happy!

There are hundreds of diamond and jewelry web sites out there, but my advice is to stick with the leaders in the field. The two major players are Blue Nile and Mondera. On their sites, you can browse thousands of diamonds as well as build your own engagement ring and see how different settings look with different shape diamonds. They both have highly knowlegable and very friendly customer service staff that can answer questions about diamonds and settings, and offer a no risk 100% guarantee and return policy.


Wedding Anniversary Signature Frame - The Perfect Anniversary Gift!

So you're having a wedding anniversary. Congratulations! It's quite a remarkable achievement in this day and age and whether you're celebrating a 10th, 25th, or 50yr anniversary each year marks a memorable milestone and deserves a special celebration. It also requires a unique gift to commemorate and memorialize such an important occasion.

While it's important to find an anniversary gift that will pay homage to your past memories as well as capture your new memories, you may also want to incorporate the traditional wedding items such as silver on a 25th anniversary or gold for your 50th landmark anniversary. Wouldn't it be great to find an anniversary gift that can include all of these attributes?

Well, there is and it's called a signature frame, and if you're not familiar with this gift it is a picture frame that can display various photographs of a couple's favorite memories surrounded by signatures of friends and family attending their special day. It is the modern photo album and guestbook combined and it is able to display past and anniversary day memories together in one eye-catching frame.

The way in which these frames can accomplish all this is by including them at your next anniversary party and it's simple! By displaying photographs of the anniversary couple inside the signature frame at the party, guests can view these photographs and be included in the couple's past history and memories while they autograph the signature frame. A personalized engraving in silver or brass can also be incorporated in the frame to follow the traditional anniversary gift customs while also adding a timeless permanence to the frame.

The signed frame, complimented with pictures can then be presented to the anniversary couple at the end of the party as a gift from everyone. Signature frames also have the added benefit of allowing couples to add or change photographs taken at their anniversary party.

By combining a little of the old and part of the new, Anniversary Signature frames will display your past and present memories surrounded by the signatures of family friends that were part of your special day. Your signature frame will become a cherished family heirloom to be enjoyed for decades to come.

By Shar Calder


Wedding Anniversary Symbols

Most people are aware that significant wedding anniversaries such as 25th and 40th are linked to precious stones, in these cases silver and ruby. However, it is less well known that all anniversaries up to and including the 15th, and then every 5th anniversary, have their own particular symbol. The list below shows the symbol traditionally associated with each anniversary.

ANNIVERSARY

1st - Paper
2nd - Cotton
3rd - Leather
4th - Books
5th - Wood
6th - Sugar, candy
7th - Wool, cooper
8th - Bronze, pottery
9th - Pottery, willow
10th - Tin, aluminium
11th - Steel
12th - Silk, linen
13th - Lace
14th - Ivory
15th - Crystal
20th - China
25th - Silver
30th - Pearl
35th - Coral
40th - Ruby
45th - Sapphire
50th - Gold
60th - Diamond
75th - Diamond

The Silver (25th) and Golden (50th) Anniversaries appear to be the most traditional. In Central Europe going back hundreds of years a man would present his wife with a silver or golden garland to mark the occasion of their anniversary.

The other materials have been added to the list more recently, and there is now a more modern list which incorporates the missing years 16-19. Amazingly, a ten carat diamond has been added for a 100th Wedding Anniversary! How many couples will get that far?

The traditional version is still preferred by most people.


Brad Pitt - Jennifer Aniston Marriage Undermined by Inappropriate Friendship with Angelina Jolie

Speculation continues about the break-up of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and what role Angelina Jolie may have played. At least three different rumors are circulating as to what may have been the cause.

Rumors of an Extramarital Affair

One rumor has it that Pitt and co-star Angelina Jolie were having an affair. This rumor began circulating last May, when Pitt was photographed holding Jolie's hand on the set while filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith. They both denied there was any romance.

A Recipe for Emotional Infidelity

"Even if the rumors of an extramarital affair are untrue," says author and infidelity expert Ruth Houston, "it highlights the danger of inappropriate friendships with members of the opposite sex. This can lead to emotional infidelity, which is often a precursor to sexual infidelity". Problems can develop if the friendship is conducted away from the view or without the knowledge of the other person's marriage mate. Affairs usually start with someone the wayward spouse knows and comes in contact with on a regular basis.

Workplace Affairs

According to one study, 73% of infidelity begins in the workplace. Friendships that start out innocently enough progress to emotional infidelity and eventually escalate to extramarital affairs. Says Houston, "This holds true whether the workplace is a movie set or an office environment. And workplace affairs are on the rise." Anytime two people of the opposite sex are in close proximity on a regular basis for extended periods of time, the potential for emotional infidelity exists. All that's needed to take it to the next level is sexual chemistry and opportunity. "Even if the intense year-long friendship between Pitt and Jolie did not take a sexual turn," says Houston, "they were treading on dangerous ground."

When Opposite Sex Friendships Become a Problem

Time spent by a husband with a "friend" of the opposite sex is time spent away from his wife, unless they include her in the activities taking place "Even if there's no sex involved," explains Houston, " emotional bonding occurs, and before you know it, infidelity is rearing its ugly head." Opposite sex friendships become a problem when they become a replacement for the marriage. When one marriage mate starts sharing hopes, dreams, special moments and intimate information with an opposite sex "friend" instead of their spouse, a bond develops which has infidelity potential. Houston warns, "All it takes for the situation to spiral out of control and infidelity to occur is an air of secrecy, sexual chemistry, and the opportunity factor. Even if an affair was not the original intent."

Arguments Over Starting a Family

Another rumor has it that constant arguments between Pitt and Anniston over the issue of starting a family were a contributing factor to the split. Pitt, 41, is anxious to start a family, while Aniston, 35, is reluctant to do so at the expense of her acting career. During the filming of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Angelina Jolie brought her 3-year-old adopted son, Maddox to the set every day and Pitt enjoyed spending time with the little boy. Their closeness caused him to compare Aniston unfavorably with Jolie, by pointing out to her that Jolie, who is 6 years younger, has successfully combined motherhood with her acting career.

A Marriage "Ripe" for An Affair

Regarding the friendship that developed between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - if there were problems in the marriage, however minor, it was a bad time to form a close relationship with someone of the opposite sex - even if that friendship was platonic. It doesn't take much for such a friendship to make the transition from emotional to sexual infidelity. Houston observes, "If there are major problems between husband and wife, that marriage is 'ripe' for an affair. Given the right (or wrong) set of circumstances, infidelity could be just a 'friendship' away."

Telephone Sex

Still a third rumor has it that Pitt and Jolie, called each other constantly on the phone. Supposedly Jennifer Aniston listened in on one conversation (either accidentally or deliberately) and heard Pitt and Jolie having telephone sex. "If the rumor about phone sex is true," says Houston, then Pitt's friendship with Jolie had already crossed the line - even if phone sex was as far as it went." Frequent lunches, dinners, meetings, or phone calls with the "friend" that a spouse "forgets" or neglects to mention, have a way of alienating one's marriage mate.

Denials All Around

Angelina Jolie has denied any responsibility for the Pitt - Aniston split. Both Pitt and Aniston themselves have publicly denied that a third party was involved. Even People magazine said the friendship between Pitt and Jolie never reached the point of an affair. In "Jennifer's My Space Blog" Aniston said, "The tabloid stories weren't true, no one was cheating, no one was carousing around town, it just didn't work out."

Jolie Directly or Indirectly Responsible

Says Ruth Houston, "The bottom line to all the rumors and speculation is this: It appears that either directly or indirectly, Angelina Jolie, contributed to the break-up of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Even if her only role was to prompt Pitt to make unfavorable comparisons between Aniston and Jolie."

The Lesson

Whatever the truth is concerning Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, the lesson is clear: Avoid opposite sex friendships that become very close and exclude your partner or marriage mate. They can lead to emotional infidelity. Houston cautions "If sexual chemistry and the opportunity factor are also part of the mix, sexual infidelity may not be far behind."

ATTENTION: Editors, Reporters, Staff Writers, Producers, Talk Show Hosts

If you would like a copy of the Inappropriate Friendship Quiz or "13 Tips on How to Keep Opposite Sex Friendships from Becoming Infidelity" to use as a sidebar or as part of your coverage of this story, please send an e-mail to InfidelityExpert@gmail.com with "friendships" in the subject line. Please include your name and the name of your publication or show.

By Ruth Houston


Minor But Important Duties For Your Wedding Party, Bridesmaids, and Groomsmen

Your wedding party is a major factor in the success of your wedding day. Too many couples assume that once they've selected their brides maids and grooms men that they are finished. Unfortunately, many people don't know what it means to be in a bridal party. Bridesmaids and groomsmen need to do more than just look pretty. Put these people to work! If your wedding party knows the who's, what's, when's, and why's, they will be able to handle many of the details that may derail the enjoyment of what should be your happiest day.

Many sites will tell you the traditional roles for your wedding party. I'm going to give you some tips on additional (and non-traditional) jobs for your bridesmaids and groomsmen to perform so that you can spend your time on more important details.

Babysitter: Make it the responsibility of someone in your wedding party to know where the rest of the wedding party is at all times. When time comes for someone to make a toast, the wedding party dance, the dollar dance, the garter auction, games, etc. it is frustrating for everyone to be waiting for that one person who is outside, in the bathroom, or talking to your cute cousin.

Activity Leader: Put your bravest party animal in charge of leading activities. This person needs to be someone willing to lead a bunny hop, talk on a mic, lead people to the dance floor etc.

Clean-Up Crew: Assign the task of making sure nothing gets left behind to one of your attendant's. It will be their job to check the area of the ceremony, reception, and dance to make sure none of the wedding party left things like bags, purses, shoes, coats, wallets, keys, etc.

Nanny: Find your most child loving attendant, and give them the task of sheparding children off the dance floor during special events and dances. Children are great, but they don't realize that the Bride and Groom's first dance is not an appropriate time for them to be chasing bubbles on the dance floor.

Designated Driver: Don't forget this important job! No need to let senseless tragedy ruin your perfect night.

While these are not traditional roles for your average wedding party, assigning someone to these tasks will make your day less stressful so you can spend your time making your wedding beautiful.

By Tim & Tammy Smith


Why Hire A Wedding Designer?

As couples begin thinking about their wedding, they are often confused over how much to spend, where to obtain specialized services, and how to choose vendors. These worries often mount as quickly as the cost of the wedding. After the euphoria wears off and the reality settles in, it's shocking to discover how much preparation is involved. Couples are faced with decisions about everything from invitation wording to planning their honeymoon. Couples often find they want experienced professional help.

Not long ago, a wedding designer was thought of as a luxury, only used by the wealthy. Now a designer is an essential element of a well-planned affair. It is no longer "trendy" to engage someone to handle the details. Being experienced in negotiating contracts with caterers, florists, photographers, and other suppliers, the wedding designer saves you valuable time and money. The designer can take advantage of discounts not available to private parties and avoid costly mistakes, while turning your dreams into reality.

The average wedding can take more than two hundred and fifty hours to plan. With today's hectic lifestyles, you may not have time to compare all the options, making sure you get the best deal, and making sure all the details are in place.

Designers are not here to make decisions for you, but to guide and assist you in making informed decisions. Our training, knowledge, and experience will turn your dreams and expectations into reality. We want you to host a beautiful and distinctive event with no worries. Remember you should enjoy your wedding and remember it always as one of the greatest events of your life.

By Sasha Souza Events


Mattresses and Marriage - a Match Made in Heaven

Mattresses and marriage go hand in hand. Sleep is important to all of us, even the honeymooners. A good night sleep is critical for our performance the next day and for our health and well being in general. If the couple is not used to sleeping together, there will be just the issues of getting used to sleeping with someone. You don't need the extra strain and complications of a mattress that is uncomfortable for one or both parties. My comfort in bed may not be yours. I like a soft mattress even though I have a bad back. My husband likes something that is more firm. There are mattresses on the market that boast the capability of adjusting the firmness to each person's preference. That sounds great, but these mattresses aren't inexpensive. In fact, most mattresses and box spring sets will set you back a few bills. In order for your chances of a better night sleep to be greater, I strongly advise for the new couple to pick out the mattress together instead of one person bringing a mattress into the marriage. That also feels better doesn't it? I don't like the idea of a "used" mattress coming into a marriage. This should be new just as the marriage is new. If the couple shops together for the new mattress set, there is a better chance they will find one that fits both their needs. Do the rest test in the store as most retailers won't let you take one home and then return it; they frown on that from a hygienic aspect.

The Better Sleep Council recommends six things you should consider before buying the mattress:

? Support is critical as you should have a mattress that keeps your spine in a good standing posture.

? Make sure the comfort level is such where you feel you can be close to each other without bothering one another.

? You expect your mattress to last a long time as it is not an inexpensive purchase. Keep turning it, and vacuum it off occasionally. If you are concerned about dust mites, you may even want to encase it in plastic. Ask yourself in a few years if it is still supportive and comfortable to you. If not, you might want to opt for a new set.

? Buy the right size. If you need space as we all do, opt for at least a queen size bed. King-size mattresses are unwieldy and will take up more space in a master bedroom, but you might require more room, especially if you and your mate are tall or heavy set.

? Do buy a matching sleep set. These are made for each other and you won't get the wear from the mattress you desire if you don't match it up to the box spring.

? Buy the best that you can afford. Now is not the time to skimp on a purchase because a cheap mattress will not be comfortable at all. It won't take you long in the rest test to tell the comfortable mattresses from the ones that feel like cardboard.

Mattresses and marriage are made to stay together. We spend so much of our life in bed that we need to have the most comfortable, supportive mattress on the market that we can afford. Isn't this like the partner you have chosen? They are supportive and comfortable to be with so mattresses and marriage can truly be a match made in heaven.

By Bev Marshall


How Is A Professional Wedding Designer Different From Other Wedding Vendors Who Do Event Planning?

Often when you are looking for wedding vendors who suit your needs, you will run across a vendor that advertises that they also will coordinate your wedding - FREE! These people generally do not have the extensive training or association memberships that professional wedding designers or bridal consultants have.

Be aware that there are different types of vendors who offer wedding coordination services:

Concierge Service

There are concierge services that also do wedding coordination. While they are running errands for executives (scheduling lunches, picking up laundry, buying gifts) they are also planning your wedding. Wouldn't you feel better to choose a company who caters strictly to event planning -- not wrapping packages while trying to find your site?

Free Wedding Coordination Services

You must ask yourself how these companies stay in business if they aren't charging you for their services! Simple. They are provided with an incentive payment (usually a percentage of the package you purchase) from the vendor that they refer to you. Since the vendor will raise their prices to cover the amount going to the "free service", you could actually end up paying much more in commissions for what is supposed to be a "free" service to the bride. One important note is that a lot of the more reputable vendors will not subscribe to a service like this, so you could really be missing out on a vendor who matches your style and has extensive skill and talent.

Ceremony Site Coordinator

Often hired by the church/ synagogue /wedding site to make sure that their rules are followed -- such as no lights on the video camera, no throwing of rice or birdseed, who can and cannot stand on the alter. Professional wedding coordinators always work with these people to ensure that your ceremony is as individual as you are, while still following the guidelines set up by the church/synagogue/site.

Reception Site Coordinator

This person is usually a salesperson who works in the catering or sales office of the site. Typically, they are NOT trained wedding coordinators. It is their job to make sure that the right linens are on the table and that everything seems to be running smoothly. If you ask for vendor referrals, you will usually get a list of companies who have done weddings at their site before. They do not check references of these companies and may have only worked with them once or twice.

Florist

Again, this person is trained in how to do fabulous floral arrangements for your wedding day. If you ask for wedding coordination, you will receive a list of vendors who have used their services in the past and references will not be checked.

Caterer

Caterers are a wonderful addition to your wedding. They create imaginative menus best suited to your wedding style and budget. However, caterers are not wedding coordinators. Situations have come up where a caterer has told a bride not to waste her money on a wedding designer. When the day came, details were not complete and one of the suggested vendors did not show up. They also do not help you with complicated questions on wedding etiquette and they aren't at the church to make sure that all the details are completed.

A True Wedding Designer Works For You On Every Level Let your vendors do what they are best at. Spreading themselves too thin can, in the end, can cause you to not get the wedding you hoped for. When you are choosing your designer, make sure that they belong to a reputable organization and that you feel comfortable with the services that they are offering you. They should only have your best interests in mind!

The above information should simply reinforce the fact that a Professional Wedding Designer has your personal interests at heart, not their own. Invest wisely in your wedding and make sure that you are being taken care of so you can relax and create wonderful memories.

By Sasha Souza Events


Planning Your Wedding - How To Get Organized

You have purchased the latest bridal magazines from your local grocery store and there are pages and pages of photos of beautiful wedding gowns, rings and articles on weddings. Some give you a brief idea of what you need to do to plan your wedding, but you're still not sure how to begin the process.

The key is to start organizing and planning earlier than later.

You first need to create a system to keep all the details in one place. You may choose to use a binder with a tab for each category you will be using. Examples of categories are: Bakery, Ceremony, Catering, Florist, Music, Reception, Photography, Transportation. An accordion file is another choice, using the same category tabs. You will be able to see each category at a glance.

Whichever system you choose, use it to keep track of all receipts, pictures, brochures, business cards etc. that is related to each category.

Once you have your system in place, you can then do some research. There are many wedding planning books out in the market, even online websites (like this one). Visit your local bookstore or library to pick up a book to help your with the entire planning process.

Find a "wedding timetable" layout. This timetable will include a list of to-do's for the entire months/year before the big day. Some of the first things on this timeline may be: Consulting with fiancé and parents to decide budget and financial support. Another may be deciding the number of guests to invite to your big day (always dependant on budget $$ available), deciding what type of wedding - formal or informal or even interviewing wedding coordinators. This timetable is a basic guideline. You can recreate on your computer to fit your wedding and time line.

Once you have an idea of all the details involved in planning a wedding and all the dedicated time you will have to spend, you can start recruiting help from family and friends. Delegate tasks to help you check off all the to-do's on your list and by the time you know it, it's wedding day.

By Maggie Puertas


Wedding Frames - Are Your Wedding Photographs Safe?

One of the top priorities on a wedding day is to make sure every moment is captured with great photographs. These once-in-a-lifetime memories are irreplaceable and making sure these photographs are properly stored and displayed after the wedding should be just as important. Chances are photographs placed in an album are protected but how about your framed photographs?

Whether you decide to display photographs in an album or frame, it is important they are manufactured from acid-free or archival-safe materials in order to protect and preserve your photographs for the future. While most photo albums sold are made to these high standards, the same cannot be said for the majority of frames sold in retail stores.

Protecting your framed photographs requires the same acid-free materials used in archival-safe photo albums but also requires an additional layer of protection. This extra protection is in the form of UV (ultraviolet) protected glass. It becomes a necessity because photographs and artwork in a frame are subject to damage from UV light from the sun and/or household lights. If unprotected, photographs and artwork will prematurely age and yellow.

One of the easiest ways to judge the quality of a frame is based on price. Low end, low cost frames will definitely not have these protective materials, while a photo-safe quality frame can run from $80 dollars up into the hundreds. This is a not a hard and fast rule, so when in doubt, ask.

An example of this is the popular Signature Frame couples use at a wedding, where friends and family sign the frame instead of a guestbook. It can be purchased at many stores for as little as $15 dollars and is not manufactured using photo-safe materials. Other stores using high quality framing materials may charge over $100 dollars for a frame that may look almost identical but will incorporate the acid-free and UV protective glass. This is one of the occasions where you do get what you pay for and unknowing brides will be dismayed to find their bargain wedding keepsake yellowing and fading within years of their wedding day.

While the initial costs of a quality picture frame are higher, it is hard to put a price on preserving special memories. Consider the joy and happiness a framed memory can bring which will be displayed and viewed for years or decades to come. This makes framing a great value compared to photographs displayed in an album that are seldom seen and appreciated.

For special memories, like wedding or anniversary photographs that are not easily replaced, a quality frame will protect them so they will be around for a long time. This extra investment now will pay dividends for a lifetime of great framed memories.

By Shar Calder


You're Making Your Wedding List and Checking It Twice-What Have You Forgotten?

Preparing for a wedding, large or small, is overwhelming! A way to combat that feeling is to break down the required tasks, divide the responsibilities and assign deadlines. Ok, all that is fine-but what have you forgotten?

A wedding is a public affair, and it's everyone's fear that somewhere, somehow, despite all the planning, arrangements, expense, and hard work, something will happen to make one or more of the principles appear foolish in public.

Let's look at a scenario for a moment. It's a beautiful day and a beautiful wedding. Everything is in place. The site of the ceremony has been decorated appropriately and beautifully, all major participants are playing their roles correctly and are properly dressed, the groom and his best man have arrived and are in place, and the wedding party are about to begin the walk down the aisle.

The music starts, and the bridal attendants proceed down the aisle. They're nervous, and when nervous, people tend to both rush and "herd." The attendants are following that instinct, and they're so close together that no one can get a separate picture of each one! The organist is trying to keep up with the fact that the attendants are in place far too soon, so she/he speeds up the music. The bride then starts to proceed down the aisle before the music has changed; the organist quickly switches the music, which now has the tempo of a rock opera. No one has been able to get photographs of the bridesmaids. The bride is beautifully dressed, but she's so close to the maid/matron of the honor or flower girl that no one can see or photograph her properly either-she's nervous too!

As the bride and her escort pass, you notice that her train, which is probably at least as beautiful as the rest of her gown if not more so, is twisted and to the side. Because in most ceremonies the bride and groom stand facing the officiant, you can see her twisted train all throughout the ceremony!

After the ceremony, the bride and groom proceed back down the aisle, followed by the attendants and the couple's parents. Because of the emotion of the moment, some of the members of the bridal party have cried during the service, and it now appears that most female members of the party, including the bride herself, has made themselves up to look like circus clowns because their mascara is running and their foundation is streaked! The guests are asking themselves if the bridal party looked that way at the start of the ceremony, because of course they couldn't see them very well-they were too close together.

There's a sudden downpour outside in the middle of the ceremony, and it doesn't let up. When the time comes for the bride, groom and wedding party to be transported to the reception everyone gets wet and soggy and arrives at the reception looking unhappy, uncomfortable, wrinkled, soaked, and with their hairdos in disarray. It's all recorded on those expensive once-in-a-lifetime wedding photographs and videotapes too!

So how can all this be prevented? First, if you don't have a professional wedding planner, you need an assistant! It should be a close friend or relative who is not supposed to be sitting in the reserved seats at the front, and so is available to help you manage the last minute necessary details. You should prepare a kit in advance of the ceremony that contains things like a needle and thread in black, white and the wedding colors, toothpaste and chalk to deal with any stains that might appear on the wedding dress, asprin and an extra pair of stockings in a neutral shade, a small bottle of water, tissues or handkerchiefs, etc.

Your assistant's first task is to hand out the tissues or handkerchiefs--almost every bridal party forgets them. She should hand these out just before the mothers and then the bridal party proceed down the aisle. The bride and bridal party can hold them under their bouquets so that they are not seen. If you hand them out any time before that, you'll find that at least one person--and more often a few people--will forget to bring theirs-and a wedding ceremony is no place to take chances! Tissues will serve the purpose, of course-but do you really want the bridal party photographed during the ceremony with tissues-perhaps shredded by a nervous owner? Men's handkerchiefs will do, and of course, pretty lace-trimmed handkerchiefs are even better-just make sure they're sizeable! You may be able to find reasonably priced lace handkerchiefs locally or online, or you can always buy men's linen handkerchiefs and hand-sew lace on them--it doesn't take that long to do.

Your helper's second task is to space your attendants as they go down the aisle. When the organist (who has used unrolling the aisle runner and the placement of the groomsmen as a cue) begins the processional music, your helper should stand to the side of the lined-up bridesmaids, using the door as a shield so that she will not be seen by your guests. While proper spacing is a matter of judgment, a good guideline is that the next bridesmaid should not proceed down the aisle until the bridesmaid in front of her is AT LEAST 1/2 way up the aisle in a medium-sized church or hall. If the church is the size of a cathedral (as in The Sound of Music), it could be 1/3 of the way. Remember-they can't start without you!

The maid/matron of honor should not start until the last bridesmaid is in place, and the flower girl and ring bearer should also not start down the aisle until the maid/matron of honor is in place, regardless of the size of the church. In other words, there should be a little more spacing between these two members of the bridal party.

The bride should wait until the first few bars of the music for the bride has been played. The organist is waiting for the placement or seating of the ring bearer and flower girl to switch music; do not rush her! Again remember: it won't start without you! Your helper is there to calm you and your escort down, wait for the music, make sure the bride is on the left,and slow you both down if necessary.

When the last bridal attendant or flower girl/ring bearer "step off" and are on their way down the aisle, your helper should slip behind the bride and her escort, again, taking care not to be seen. On the very first step that the bride and her escort take, the helper should pick up the train at least a foot but no more than two feet off the ground, and give it a "flip." This action is similar to smoothing out a sheet on a bed. The "flip" will ensure that the train will ride on a curtain of air and stay spread correctly as long as the bride keeps walking.

Next, how to handle the sudden downpour. As part of your preparations, the bride should obtain enough umbrellas (three is plenty) for the bridal couple and the bridal party. Some limousine services also carry umbrellas, but if so, they usually only have one, and you need to consider at least your bridesmaids as well. If you find that you have too many, the parents and relatives of the couple would appreciate them, too! While any color umbrella will do, white umbrellas would be lovely. Consider getting a large golf size umbrella for the bride and groom and folding umbrellas do nicely for your wedding party and parents. Your helper should have the umbrellas at the back of the hall or church near the door and be ready to hand them out after the ceremony.

Arrange to give your assistant the umbrellas and your emergency kit a day or two before the wedding, and make sure that she knows what her role will be. A good friend is priceless! Remember that she is doing you a favor. It would be a nice gesture--and one that will be remembered--to present her personally with a special and thoughtful gift at the reception, as well as your thanks. You can put the gift in a parent's car, or possibly the best man's car, in advance of your wedding day.

Attention to these little but important details can help to assure memorable pictures and a worry-free wedding day!

By Marilyn Woodman


How to Enhance and Enrich Your Marriage

Any marriage counselor will tell you that one of the most common problems observed when couples come for help is poor communication skills. People get into trouble in their marriages because they have not developed their ability to listen and communicate.

Barriers to Communication

These are a few of the things that prevent people from communicating effectively:

? Not knowing how to communicate properly

? Not taking the time to think through what you want to say

? Not taking the time to anticipate what your partner might be thinking and feeling

? Fear of revealing too much of yourself

? Fear of your partner's anger

? Not wanting to hurt your partner's feelings Empathy and Acceptance

People marry because they want to spend the rest of their lives with their partner. They have every hope of growing together and creating a relationship that makes them feel emotionally healthy. Two factors that are necessary for this to happen are empathy and acceptance on the part of both partners.

Empathy is the capacity to put oneself in another's shoes and understand how they view their reality, how they feel about things.

Demonstrating empathy and acceptance is critical to maintaining a strong relationship. Let's look next at some communication skills that enable you to create a climate of empathy, acceptance, and understanding. First we will explore a skill called Active Listening.

Active Listening

Active listening is a way of communicating that creates the important climate of empathy, acceptance, and understanding.

? It is a two-step response to a statement made by your partner.

? It includes reflecting back what emotion you detected in the statement, and the reason for the emotion. This is what active listening sounds like: "Sounds like you're upset about what happened at work."

"You're very annoyed by my lateness, aren't you?"

Why Active Listening Is a Valuable Skill

Active listening is a valuable skill because it demonstrates that you understand what your partner is saying and how he or she is feeling about it.

? Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said.

? It's a check on whether your understanding is correct.

? It demonstrates that you are listening and that you are interested and concerned.

Actively listening does not mean agreeing with the other person. The point is to demonstrate to your partner that you intend to hear and understand his or her point of view. This is good for your relationship for several reasons:

? When someone demonstrates that they want to understand what you are thinking and feeling, it feels good.

? It creates good feelings about the other person.

? Restating and checking understanding promotes better communication and fewer misunderstandings.

More Active Listening Examples

Here are some more examples of active listening:

"You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem."

"It makes you angry when you find errors on Joey's homework."

"Sounds like you're really worried about Wendy."

"I get the feeling you're awfully busy right now."

More Communication Skills

Although our space is limited in this short newsletter, there are a few more communication skills that I must mention. These include asking open-ended questions, making summary statements to check understanding, and encouraging your partner to open up and elaborate by using neutral questions and phrases.

Open-ended questions begin with what, why, how do, or tell me.

? These questions get the other person to open up and elaborate on the topic.

? Asking these kinds of questions gets the other person involved by giving him or her a chance to tell what he or she thinks or knows.

? These questions are designed to encourage your partner to talk.

? They are useful when the other person is silent or reluctant to elaborate.

? They are also useful in dealing with negative emotions (such as anger or fear), since they help encourage the other person to vent feelings.

Summary Statements

Summary statements sum up what you hear your partner saying.

? A summary statement enhances your partner's self-esteem by showing that you were listening carefully.

? It also helps you focus on facts, not emotions.

? It helps your partner clarify his or her own thinking by hearing your summary.

? Summary statements also help you deal with multiple disagreements so you can deal with them one by one.

? They help eliminate confusion by focusing on the relevant facts.

? Summary statements also help you separate the important issues from the trivial.

Neutral Questions and Phrases

Neutral questions and phrases get your partner to open up and elaborate on the topic you are discussing.

? These questions are more focused than open-ended questions.

? They help your partner understand what you are interested in hearing more about.

? They further communication because they help you gain more information.

? When you ask these kinds of questions, you demonstrate to your partner that you are interested and that you are listening.

Business Skills for Marriages

You might be surprised to hear that the same skills that help people succeed in business can also be used to build a better marriage. Like any business, a marriage is a partnership of people. Many of the skills that make businesses run successfully-planning, organizing, and setting goals-also can be applied to running your marriage successfully. These are some of the skills that will strengthen any marriage:

1. Create an overall vision of what you want your life to be like; consider all life areas.

2. Develop a long-range strategy.

3. Set short-term and long-term goals.

4. Plan the steps that will help you accomplish your goals.

5. Organize projects.

6. Manage projects.

7. Manage people.

8. Evaluate progress and results at regular intervals.

9. Revise goals as needed.

By Garrett Coan


Jumat, 06 Juni 2008

How to Choose a Pearl Necklace for Your Wedding Day

The elegant beauty of a strand of pearls has fascinated brides for centuries. People believe that wearing pearls on their wedding day will bring bliss to their marriage.
Pearls are classic wedding jewelry. How do you choose that perfect pearl necklace?
Here are some tips:
There are four types of pearls:Akoya pearls, Tahitian pearls, SouthSea pearls, and freshwater pearls. Akoya, Tahitian and South Sea pearls grow in oceans. They are more valuable than freshwater pearls for their rarity and high luster.
Akoya pearls are the most popular. These pearls are valued for their rich color, mirror-like finish,and appealing roundness.
As with any other gemstones, the value of pearls is determined by their quality.
A pearl's quality can be A, AA, AA+, AAA, AAA+. The last two, AAA and AAA+ pearls, have the best quality and they are most valuable. For pearls of the same size, an 'A' quality pearl necklace costs only a small fraction of AAA quality pearl necklace.
The quality and value of pearls are based upon six criteria: luster, nacre, surface, color, shape, size and matching. The educated buyer uses his or her preferences to decide which criteria are most important.
Nacre: Most buyers of pearl jewelry pay most attention to the pearls' nacre thickness. Nacre is the coating that a pearl oyster produces to cover the pearl's nucleus; it is the key to how long pearls last. You should look for pearls with nacre thickness over 0.4mm.
Luster and Surface: Luster is the amount of light reflected from the pearl's surface. A strand of pearls with high luster, mirror finish and clean surfaces is most desirable and valuable.
Color: It is a personal choice. Consider buying a pearl necklace whose color will complement your clothing and your skin tone.
Size: The price of pearls that are larger than 7mm varies greatly. People usually buy the largest pearls they can afford.
Shape: Round pearls are most desirable and valuable.
Matching: For a pearl necklace or bracelet, matching refers to the ways in which all of the pearls are similar. It is difficult to find enough identical pearls to make a well-matched pearl necklace; therefore such a necklace commands a top price.
After you have decided the type, color, size and quality of pearls that you want, think about your budget. Take your time to shop around and find that perfect pearl necklace for your wedding day!
Provided by Premiumpearl.com.